I am pretty sure that all of us have been hurt by someone in our lives. They could have done something unacceptable to you or had said some unpleasant things. But again, how they treat you is a reflection of who they are or even how they treat themselves. So that is why I don’t take things personally with people. Although they might hurt you, it may be because they are going through their own problems that they don’t know how to deal with otherwise. It doesn’t give them the right to treat you the way that they treated you but it is true when they say that hurt people, hurt people.
The Buddha says that “if you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another”. I have to admit that when I didn’t love myself, I hurt others with the truth to make myself feel better. However, I’ve genuinely asked for forgiveness from God first and then from the person. If the person doesn’t accept my sincere apology then it becomes their own problem and no longer mine because I did what I could to make terms better with them.
You forgive people not because you want to forgive them. You forgive them for yourself so that you can be happy, have a peace of mind and to also let yourself move forward. Also, you can forgive but you don’t have to forget. Take how people treat you as a lesson and then you can be wiser for it to not happen again. Confront them and tell them that what they said or did was unacceptable. You don’t need to wait for them to apologise to you, just forgive them already. Again, the quicker you forgive them, the quicker it is for you to move on, be happy and have a peace of mind. Plus, you will then be the bigger person and remember, people reap what they sow, so what goes around will always come back around. God knows what people have done, they can run as fast or as far as they want, but it will always catch up to them in the end.
In Islam, forgiveness is a virtue where we are reminded to be forgiving and ask for forgiveness. God is the Most Merciful and the more mercy you have towards other human beings, the more merciful He is to you. The Prophet Muhammad have said, “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins.” Therefore, this is just another reason why we should forgive the person who has hurt us.
I know that sometimes it is not easy to forgive people who have done you wrong but you need to do it for yourself. There is no point in holding onto something that makes you feel upset or bad. But you have every reason to have happiness, a peace of mind and for you to move forward in life.
N.B: You might not take his video thumbnail seriously but I highly recommend you to watch this video by Infinite Waters:
Or watch a shorter video from Oprah’s Life Class: