In all honesty, the first week of university was not how I expected it to be. Things happen so fast that I still can’t comprehend what has happened. It feels like everything is just a dream and right now I have no idea what is real and what is not real. But the sun keeps coming up and the night falls with the stars glowing with compassion for me to sleep. However, it feels like I haven’t been awake for the longest of time. Until recently with the death of someone I knew.
Now after all the events that have occurred recently, there is no picture of myself that shows more accurately to how I responded to them. It is exactly how I am now and how I would like to stay for a while. Closed eyes, a big smile on my face and an open heart.
They say that ignorance is bliss and it cannot be any truer. Right now, I am constantly thinking about what matters in my life and what doesn’t. I now think that if it doesn’t matter to me anymore, I should just ignore it instead of it letting get to me or even hurt me. With closed eyes and an open heart, I tried being nice, even to those who are not nice to me because I realised that at the end of the day, being the bigger person makes you the better person. Also with closed eyes, I want to stay less judgemental of other people and see them for who they really are. I have always believed to never judge a book by its cover because everyone has a story that wants and needs to be told. And you will always be amazed to hear the stories that people have to share. It doesn’t matter what they look or dress like, if the person is young or old, male or female, rich or poor or any other social factors. We are all human. Nothing less and nothing more. Each and every one of us matters.
“If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.”
This past couple of months I try to be happy but people or events beyond my control keep bringing me down. And it sucks. I try so hard and with every step I take forward, there is always someone or something that takes me two steps back. Life really does seem unfair to me but I keep reminding myself that everything is written. Everything I go through and feel is meant to be that way in order for me to grow and be a better person. And again, God knows what is best for me. Nonetheless, because they are God’s plans I still have a big smile on my face. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and being miserable, I also choose to also keep smiling because I still have this life, I still have some time to change and make good choices and most importantly, I still have the opportunity to be the person I want to be remembered as. I realised that you can always change your perception on things or your own story. Like I said, we all have a story, how you tell your story is how you perceive yourself. There is no need to lie about your story but you could always change the tone of your story.
“Destiny doesn’t mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to leave everything to the fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance. The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed of 40 different levels. Your destiny is the level where you play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands.”
Talking about stories, I have recently been re-reading ‘The Forty Rules of Love’ by Elif Shafak which is exactly what I needed (where I have included some rules in this blog post). It reminded me to keep my heart open to the idea of love. Not love for someone from the opposite sex but love for God, for my family and friends, for myself and for all the beauty there is in this world. So with an open heart, I want to try to do everything that I do or say with love and sincerity. Right now, to me, life is really too short to live any other way.
“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”