Oh shit.

Reflections on almost dying just before I turn nineteen.

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Today I had almost died. If I had gone a second later or had not reacted to go faster, I would have been long gone from a car crash. Thank God that I am okay and alive. It’s true that when you are close to facing death, your life flashes before your eyes and in that moment, the only thing that I said to myself or had thought of was: “Oh shit.”

Oh shit as in, it’s only four more days until I have officially lived 19 years; I’m still so young. Oh shit as in there are so many things that I still want to do in life. Oh shit as in, God please have mercy on me for the things I have done and oh shit, as in I haven’t expressed enough love to my family and close friends while I was still alive in this world.

Straight after, I was in shock and I’m still in shock while writing this, but after today’s extremely close incident, something sparked within me and now I really understand why time is so precious. Nonetheless, the concepts are simple, we are not guaranteed the length of time in this world and we could never ever go back in time to fix things in the past. As scary as it sounds, all that we are guaranteed with are the present time and ultimately, death which can come at any stage in life, young or old. Therefore the best time to change and become a better person or to make a difference in the world or to work towards a goal is now. It is better to have tried and failed than to have not started at all. One of my favourite all time quote which is by John Lewis is: ‘If not now, then when?’ (In my other words: when will you get off your butt to do what you have promised to do?)

And because I have experienced a near death situation and also because it is my birthday in a couple of days, here are reasons why I am grateful for the life I have now and the goals that I would like to achieve in the hopeful years to come (with a total of nineteen reasons and goals).

I have gratitude for…

  1.  God’s guidance with everything I do
  2. My loving parents
  3. My younger brothers (although they can be little shits at times) and the rest of my extended family
  4. My beautiful friends
  5. Having had experienced true love
  6. The good memories and experiences
  7. Simple things that make me smile
  8. Living in New Zealand
  9. Chocolate
  10. My education
  11. Opportunities that have been given to me
  12. Teachers who believed in me or had supported me
  13. Tramping trips that I have done
  14. Places that I have travelled

Things I dream about:

  1. Becoming a successful doctor
  2. Having an anthology or book published
  3. Helping young girls grow into beautiful and strong women
  4. Travelling the world
  5. Volunteering overseas

I’m curious to see if, in three or five years time, I will have the same gratitudes and goals. Maybe I’m almost living my dreams, even better yet, maybe those dreams are a reality for me then. Nonetheless, I find life interesting, in the sense of how and why things work out the way they do or did. But to be honest, I just want to live a life with meaning. Overall, I just want to get my point across that life is too short, so do what you gotta do.

Now it is your turn, what are you grateful for and what do you want to achieve in life?

Author: thegirlinthewineredscarf

I'm a '97, Malaysian, Muslim, westernised, Rumi loving kiwi and feminist, who is still a bit naive at times but have a lot of wisdom to tell you. This blog will have a bit of everything such as faith, poetry, makeup/beauty and life/relationships advice, reviews, responses to current events, travel and maybe some fashion inspo. My starting this blog was due to an epiphany where I realised that this life is too short to be closed minded, to have not experienced life or at least tried to pursue your passions or dreams. I hope to inspire, advise or give you another perspective on things that matters or doesn't really matter. If my posts had put a smile on your face, made you think or sets a fire to your soul, then please let me know in the comments below.

4 thoughts on “Oh shit.”

  1. I’m glad you’re okay! Nothing like a near-death experience to wake us up. Thank you for writing this post and reminding me how important it is to appreciate every minute we are alive.

    Like

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